View from the BaDMaN Boot Room - GW 10

Saturday, October 27 2018


Short and sharp this week, real life has come a-knocking – so Fantasy business will have to be brief.
Here are the finest movers and shakers of the season so far…

Goalkeeper                          Pts        GW 9 

Ederson (MC)                      49pts         6pts


Marcos Alonso (CHE)          61pts         1pts
Andrew Robertson (LIV)      57pts         8pts
Kieran Tripper (TOT)           52pts         6pts
Matt Doherty (WOL)            50pts         1pt


Eden Hazard (CHE)            75pts        1pt
Ryan Fraser (BOU)             51pts        3pts
Mo Salah (LIV)                    50pts        8pts
Raheem Sterling (MC)        50pts        0pts


Sergio Aguero (MC)            52pts        9pts
Aubameyang (AFC)            55pts        12pts 

Alright at the back…?

No change in nets. A fifth clean sheet on the spin keeps the familiar – if slightly troubling to look at – face of Ederson (MC) in the No 1 number spot. The much more handsome Alisson (LIV) is keeping the pressure on though, like his Liverpool team mates.  

Same same at the back too. Just a 1pt showing from Doherty and Alonso didn’t affect their ranking, but Tippier’s 8pts (TOT) allowed him to leapfrog Robertson (LIV) who only managed the 6pts. 
Man City’s Laporte continues to hover and his let-hand man Mendy refuses to go away. 

Mo moves in…

Mo Salah edges out his Liverpool mucker Sadio Mane to join last week’s top trio. Hazard (CHE) and Sterling (MC) only mustered 1pt between them, but still stay miles out front and hanging on in there, respectively. 

Ryan Fraser (BOU) only bothered to rack up 3pts too. But stays the bargain of the season thus far. 

Double-barrel strike from the Gunners…

Sergio (MC) remains the man up top, with a standard nine pointer against Burnley. But he is joined in the Top Three by Arsenal’s twin-gunners Aubameyang and Lacazette.  They’ve notched eight between them in the last four matches and look set to stay in and around our Team of the Week for a bit. 

With big hitters Kane (TOT) and Lukaku (MU) looking a little leggy and two-left footy of late, Callum Wilson (BOU) and relegation threatened mad Alex Mitrovic (FUL) have been carrying the fight. And that can’t be right.

On the Watch list…

In summary, these are the bad boys the BaDMan recommends should be on your radar:

GK: Patricio (WOL) and Alisson (LIV) are your men.
DEF: Laporte (MC) is a cheaper option than Walker and Mendy.
MID: Maddison (LEI), Mane (LIV) and Sigurdsson (EVE) are worth a look. 
FOR: Lacazette (ARS) is almost stride for stride with his partner in crime. 

Play nice.
Matt Nesbitt


View from the BaDMaN Boot Room - GW 9

Friday, October 19 2018


We’re back to Premier League business this weekend. 

Although I did enjoy the International break – especially the modest and strictly impartial coverage of England (or The Empiric Ruler of the Seas, as I prefer to call her) giving johnny foreigner a ruddy good hiding. 

(Spain was it? They all look the same to me…). 

We have since been rightly installed as favourites for the next few World Cups (or the Britannia and its associated kingdoms Cup, as I prefer to call it). Let’s just wallow in those match stats for a second… 

                                 Spain        England
Possession:                73%            27%
Shots (on target):       24 (6)          5 (3)
Corners:                       12                0

Take that, Sancho!
To business…

Goalkeeper                          Pts        GW 8
Ederson (MC)                          43pts        7pts


Marcos Alonso (CHE)            60pts         6pts
Andrew Robertson (LIV)        49pts         6pts
Matt Doherty (WOL)               49pts        15pts
Kieran Tripper (TOT)              46pts        7pts


Eden Hazard (CHE)               74pts        14pts
Raheem Sterling (MC)          50pts        3pts
Sadio Mane (LIV)                  48pts        3pt 
Ryan Fraser (BOU)                48pts        6pts


Sergio Aguero (MC)              52pts        9pts
Callum Wilson (BOU)            49pts        14pts 

Not much change from Game Week 8, but there’s a new face between the sticks. 

It must be Halloween soon…

Man City’s Ederson might look like the Hulk’s ugly little brother – he’s perhaps the only person whose neck tattoo makes him look less like a serial killer – but he is the ace face in goal. It only took him two matches to clock up his first assist of the season and four clean sheets on the spin has seen him tickle past early leaders the Hennessey (CP) and Etheridge (CAR) into the No 1 spot.   

(I know who I’d rather share a cell with though. He’s a funny shape too – wide hips. Make me feel weird. Perhaps I’ll explore this in future weeks – he’s likely to be in top spot for at least another week, their at home to Burnley this weekend.)

For the thrifty, you can save yourself £1.1m by opting for Patricio (WOL) – who also clambered over a couple into second place. Wolves have kept their sheets clean in four of the last five and face toothless Watford and Brighton next. 

Must be a full moon…

While we’re on the subject, a lone wolf has snuck into our back four. Wandering wing-back Matt Doherty has copped for all of Wolves’ clean sheets, plus a couple of assists and then last week added a goal into the mix. In the process he’s overlapped* England pair Kyle Walker (MC) and Kieron Tripper (TOT).

(* Eh? Eh? You like that…? Yeah, you do. You’re cracking up!).

At a measly £4.8m he’s the pick of the bunch, with the next best option trading at less than £6m Man City’s Laporte – currently ranked 7th. Wolves’ Jonny and Boly are bubbling under and both worth a look at £4.5m and £4.6m respectively.    

Pleading Gylfi in midfield…

Nothing much to report in midfield either. Apart from a 14pt blitz from Hazard (CHE) to put Eden* more distance between him and the pack. 

(* Zing!)

But both Fraser (BOU) and Mane (LIV) have slight doubts this weekend, so it is worth having a gander at Luca Moura (TOT) and Maddison (LEI). Both have been hovering around the fringes of the first X1 for a bit now and at £7.4m and £7m will give you a better exchange rate than Sterling** (MC) at the moment.

(** Zing!!!) 

Everton’s Sigurdsson has had a good couple of weeks too. Four goals from four matches, in fact. And I doubt you’ve already got too many Everton players now, have you…

Aguero is the man. Plain and simple…

Watching Man City’s All Or Nothing documentary has given me a fresh perspective on a few things inside the club. I was surprised how vocal Fabian Delph was/ is… it left me wondering just how much of Guardiola’s Pep*** talks the at-best-pigeon-English speaking players understand… and I thought Sergio Aguero seemed a bit retarded. 

Well perhaps ‘retarded’ is harsh, but a bit simple. He’s a lovely looking boy. But y’know how very pretty girls tend to be a bit… y’know, bubble-headed. He knows where the net is though and looks better than ever this season – racking up four assists alongside his five PL goals. So still top man.

(*** Zi-i-i-ing!!!)

He is joined by Bournemouth’s Callum Wilson, whose one-goal-and-two-assists performance at Watford trumped Lacazette’s two goals at Fulham. 

That’s six assists for Callum now – which is a good job, because he does miss a few stick-ons. But he is keeping Lacazette’s Arsenal mate Aubameyang, Wilson’s Bournemouth mate King and everyone’s matc ‘Arry Kane (TOT) out of the picture. So fair dos.   

On the Watch list…

In summary, these are the bad boys the BaDMan recommends should be on your radar:

GK: Patricio (WOL) – Just 1pt behind Ederson, £1.1m cheaper and less frightening to look at.
DEF: Laporte (MC) is a £1.1m cheaper option than Walker. Jonny and Boly (WOL) will save you £1m+ more.
MID: Maddison (LEI) has been knocking on the door all season. 
FOR: Lacazette (ARS) four goals and four assists in six matches suggests he has got the measure of the PL. Like his boss.  

Play nice.
Matt Nesbitt


View from the BaDMaN Boot Room - GW 8

Saturday, October 6 2018


I listened to Robbie Savage’s Premier League show on Five Live this morning. 

I know he’s been doing it since the World Cup, but I’ve always managed to get to the stereo and axe it into silence, or douse it in acid, or chuck it out the window before any of the clown’s crass, clichéd load of old wank fell out of his face and into my ears.

This morning, however, I wasn’t so sharp and as a result have spent much of the day in the shower. Crying. I just can’t get clean. 

To business…

Goalkeeper                          Pts        GW 7  

Wayne Hennessey (CP)           37pts         2pts


Marcos Alonso (CHE)              54pts         8pts
Andrew Robertson (LIV)          43pts         2pts
Kieran Tripper (TOT)                39pts        11pts
Kyle Walker (MC)                     38pts        7pts


Eden Hazard (CHE)                  60pts        10pts
Raheem Sterling (MC)             47pts        14pts
Sadio Mane (LIV)                     45pts        1pt 
Ryan Fraser (BOU)                    42pts        1pt


Sergio Aguero (MC)                 43pts        6pts
Harry Kane (TOT)                     44pts        13pts 

It seems as though the World Cup hangover is starting to subside, with four of England’s squad making their first appearance in our Team of the Season.

Wayne still sipping Hennessey…

No, not Jordan Pickford (EVE) – he’s wallowing somewhere between Kasper Schmeichel (LEI) and Jonnas Lossl (HUD) at the moment. So Wayne Hennessey keeps the gloves this week. His 2pts was enough to hold off Burnley’s Hart and Man City’s funny looking Ederson (c’mon, he is) both just a point behind on 36pts. 

£4.6m Hart could take top spot this weekend at home to Huddersfield, but then has a double header of Man City and Chelsea so I will again lob Wolves’ Patricio into the ring, at an even more reasonable £4.5m.  

Right back in the mix…

England’s right-back rivals Tripper (TOT) and Walker (MC) have overlapped their way into our defence. Tripper’s sheet and assist at Huddersfield – ahem, as predicted in my PL Previews (you’re welcome) helping him to a chunky 11pts. Walker notched his third clean sheet in a row and joins Robertson (LIV) and permanent resident Alonso (CHE).

Another World Cup hero Harry Maguire (LEI) is only a couple of points adrift to pushing his ample forehead into our back four and has a tidy run of fixture coming up (Everton, West Ham, Burnley, Cardiff and Brighton among them). One to watch.  

Oh Mo you ditn’t…

(Er, for the purposes of the next line I need you to cast your mind back to the summer brouhaha around Raheem Sterling’s AK47 tattoo. Y’know the one he needs to remind him of the UK’s gang problem and how not to get caught up in it. Similarly, I’ve got a violent rape scene tattooed on my chest as part of the Me Too movement. Anyway, gun tattoo… Raheem Sterling… right?)

Raheem Sterling shot* into our midfield with a goal and assist, squeezing out the ever-so-slightly misfiring Mo Salah. Hazard (CHE), Mane (LIV) and Fraser (BOU) keep their places despite the latter only picking a point apiece last weekend. A 10 from Chelsea’s No 10 keeps him top man.   

(* Eh…? Eh…? Didn’t oversell it did I? Nah, didn’t think so). 

Kane still able…

‘Arry Kane (TOT) hasn’t quite been ‘at it’, as they say, but two-goals and 13pts was enough to put himself up front with Sergio Aguero (MC). H is likely to score goals even at half-tilt, but his tendency to drop back into midfield to get on the ball/ hide (choose one) in recent matches reminds me of the same tactic in the World Cup – when he was clearly carrying a knock. Or maybe it was the hopes of the nation. 
Arsenal’s Lacazette seems to have got the central role ahead of Aubameyang and (at £9.5m) is cheaper than his strike partner (£10.8m). And definitely fit. He is on the watch list too. Speaking of which…      

On the Watch list…

On the bench this week we’ve got a handful of nearly men who could break into the Team of the Season in the next week or two. Or three, international break and all that. 

GK: Patricio (WOL) – Just 5pts off the top, cheap as chips and not giving much away at Molineux.

DEF: Slabhead (LEI) is lumbering up from the back and has potential both ends. 

MID: New England call up Maddison (LEI) could also be promoted to our team soon.

MID: Moura (TOT) – has emerged as Tottenham’s most potent and best value (£7.4m) midfielder.

FOR: Lacazette (ARS) is profiting, or maybe the reason behind Arsenal’s steady progression. 

The Premier League nips out the back for a fag next weekend – it’s time for that League of Gentleman again, or something. But the Boot Room will be open for business the following week.


Matt Nesbitt


Who the hell is Matt Nesbitt?

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World Cup 2010 Prediction Panel with Ruud Gullit and Sky’s Charlotte Jackson

World Cup 2010 Prediction Panel with Ruud Gullit and Sky’s Charlotte Jackson

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