View from the BaDMaN Boot Room – GW 12

Is it just me, or does anyone else hope that Rooney gets sent off for a two-footed stamp during his 15-minute cameo for England. Then calls the FA fxxxxxg divvies and flicks the Vs to the fans as he leaves the field…?

And is photographed kissing a middle-aged prostitute goodbye in her doorway the following morning. Not a classy one either, one who lives in a terraced house behind a railway station. 

Right. It is just me then.

To business…

GoalkeeperTotal PtsGW 11 Total
Ederson (MC)603
Alonso (CHE)786
Robertson (LIV)592
Trippier (TOT)584
Laporte (MC)522
Hazard (CHE)792
Sterling (MC)7721
Salah (LIV)674
Mane (LIV)652
Aguero (MC)7313
Wilson (BOU)707

Mirror, mirror on the wall…

Ederson (MC) is going to be as difficult to shift from the No 1 as the JFK assassination tattoo from his neck (If you look closely you can see an unmistakable puff of smoke from behind the picket fence, just behind his ear). City even conceded last weekend – their first in six matches. But nearest rival Alisson is a couple of clean sheets adrift.

Looky looky, same same…

No change in the back-four either – unless you count the switching of Laporte (MC) and Trippier (TOT) to third and fourth. In which case, BIG change in the back four! Tripper’s assist helped him leapfrog Laporte into third spot, just a point behind the FPL’s second best defender (and, curiously, Scotland’s second bets left back) Robertson (LIV). Alonso (CHE) has rediscovered his taste for assists with two in two weeks, so remains miles ahead.

Buy buy buy…

The value of Sterling (MC) is on the rise after an underwear-staining 21pts v Southampton. He’s now so good, he’s taken to bringing himself down in the penalty area and has been pulling his own shirt at set-pieces in training this week. Hazard (CHE) only played 25 minutes but notched an assist to stay out front. Mo and Mane (LIV) did just enough to stay involved but keep the faith – it’s Fulham at the weekend. 

If the cap fits…

What a week for Wilson (BOU). Another goal (against Man United) has kept him at the sharp end of our Dream Team – and got him an England call up. Not sure which he will be more pleased about. At least we won’t hook him for the last 15 minutes so Wayne Rooney can fulfil whatever promotional deal those bandits at the FA have cooked up.

Aguero (MC) is back in the frame too, edging out twin Gunners Lacazette and Aubameyang (thank god. I’m sick to death of typing it. It never looks right). Oh crap, he’s going to make the bench isn’t he. Unless…

Watch list: Players on the fringe

If you haven’t got, or can’t get, or don’t fancy any of the above – this lot are handy alternatives. 

GK: Alisson (LIV) – Fulham and Watford next. Clean sheet potential.
DEF: Mendy (MC) – Looks like Benji is being spared for PL action. Take note.  
MID: Richarlison (EV) – Has recovered his early season samba beat.
MID: Martial (MU) – Five goals in four for the Le Sulk.  
FOR: Rooney (DC) – Er, just to say thanks for what he has given. Or something.

Later skaterz,